Can’t Talk? Reporting Harassment When You’re Embarrassed or Fearful

Experiencing sexual harassment can leave you feeling shocked, ashamed, or even scared. Many employees hesitate to report what happened right away—not because it wasn’t serious, but because the emotions involved can make it hard to speak up. If you’re in this position, you’re not alone and still have options to protect yourself.

Why People Delay Reporting

It’s common to feel:

Embarrassment about the details of the harassment.
Fear of retaliation from the harasser or your employer.
Worry that you won’t be believed.
Confusion about whether the behavior is “bad enough” to report.

Harassers often rely on these feelings to keep victims silent. But the law is clear—you have the right to a workplace free from sexual harassment, and you are protected when you speak up.

You Still Have Rights if You Wait to Report

While reporting harassment as soon as possible can make it easier to investigate, waiting does not automatically take away your legal rights. In New York City, you have up to three years from the harassment date to file a complaint with the New York City Commission on Human Rights, and similar timeframes apply under state law.

The sooner you act, the better it may be for your case, but delayed reporting is common and understandable.

Strategies for Reporting When It’s Hard to Speak Up

If you’re struggling to report harassment due to embarrassment or fear, these steps can help:

Write it down – Start by documenting what happened in a private journal, email to yourself, or secure document. Include dates, times, locations, and any witnesses.
Preserve evidence – Save messages, emails, or photos connected to the harassment.
Consider a written report – If talking to HR or a supervisor feels overwhelming, you can submit your complaint in writing.
Bring support – When making a report, you have the right to have someone with you, such as a trusted coworker or attorney.
Talk to an attorney first – An experienced lawyer can guide you on reporting internally while protecting your rights.

Overcoming the Fear of Retaliation

One of the biggest reasons people delay reporting is the fear of losing their job or being mistreated afterward. Retaliation is illegal under federal, New York State, and New York City laws. If your employer punishes you for making a complaint, that can be a separate legal claim.

Phillips & Associates, PLLC Can Help You Take the First Step

If you’ve been sexually harassed at work but feel embarrassed or afraid to report it, you don’t have to go through it alone. Phillips & Associates, PLLC has helped many employees in New York take action—whether they reported right away or waited until they felt ready. We can explain your options, protect you from retaliation, and guide you through every step of the process.